It was in Feb 2010 when my husband decided that he was going to start a business in Sg.Petani, Kedah. When he made this decision, he gave me the option to choose to move to SP or to continue living in KL. All my life, I have been in KL. I just could not imagine going to any other state, thinking how much advanced KL is. After much thought, we both agreed that we were going to live separately until our first child completes his pre-school in KL, ensuring that he has solid foundation and a good start in education, which means we will live apart for two years. Discussing this was not easy, but once we had the decision, we felt better, relieved in a way that I know my son will get good English start at an English medium school in KL and I do not have to be away from my comfort place, KL. But when the day came to sent my husband off, how heavy my heart was that I will never want to relive that experience ever again. It was so difficult for me and my son and moreover now that I have a baby, only 3 months old at that time.
It was the most testing time of my life, having to juggle everything on my own without the support of my other half. My son who is very attached to my husband is badly affected in the first few weeks. He would cry at night, he would cry in the morning before going to school, refusing food and when asked to eat, he will break down and cry telling me he misses his father. He became a little sensitive at the beginning. So I had to ensure that all communication with my son has to be done tactfully. I would call my husband to allow my son to speak to his father every time he asks about his father. I had to make arrangements on weekends to take my kids out and have a good time so that their weekends will be as same as the weekends they use to have when their father was in KL.
In a way, I was their mama and abah at the same time, I remember spending good time at night with my son to read him good story books, I took this opportunity to instill spiritual knowledge and practice in my son during those trying times. As he tells me about his sorrow, I listen and emphatize, I teach him to look at the reasons why abah has to go away, why abah made that decision. I will invite him to pray with me, teach him the verses from the Holy Quran, and teach him to seek Allah’s help to relieve his sadness and to reunite us in the near future.
All of a sudden, I had to be on the go all the time, juggling with my baby, son and work. From getting them ready in the morning, cooking, teaching, nurturing to playing football, I did everything on my own. But thankfully, I had the greatest support from my parents and siblings.
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